As I spent 10 minutes trying to think of an appropriate title for this post, ranging from, "The Rollercoaster of Emotions Regarding Results Day," to "Results Day," it's clear the monumental importance of August 14th cannot be expressed in a single headline.
Typed letters cannot express the frustration, excitement and fear that have creeped into my mind over the last two months.
After my French exam in late June, my final exam, I felt confident.
The two essay and 70 word translation examination seemed a breeze, and I genuinely felt that a possible A grade was on the cards.
However, fast-forward to August 11th, that confidence has been lost somewhere.
The mindset has changed, the foreshadowing of a disastrous result has began, with my mind questioning itself, "Did I spell that correctly? Will that cost me an A? Will that cost me a B? Have I even managed to get a C?!"
The same can be said for the other 3 exams I took, Geography, Media and English Literature.
This is hard.
It's easy to doubt yourself, but the most troubling emotion is feeling confident.
Do you let yourself fall into a false sense of security by telling yourself you've done enough?
This may work for some, but I cannot.
Even thinking of the scenario of going in with high expectations and letting myself down urks my stomach. (I'm not even sure "to urk" is a verb, but it just seems the right one.)
However, I can't help but think, is this due to a lack of confidence that I can't let myself believe I've done enough?
As we speak, the UCAS website is down as it says, "Updates to Track have been suspended between Friday 8 August and Wednesday 13 August while we process exam results."
How freaky.
My fate has already been decided yet I must continue to wait 3 more days.
It feels like a bizarre birthday party.
On your birthday, to me, it's a day to enjoy the previous year you've had. It's the one day you can enjoy being, you.
Although that leaves the argument of, "you should always be yourself," there's something uniquely self-fulfilling about a birthday, it's your day.
Anyway, back to the bizarre birthday party, the fourteenth could be an amazing, incredibly satisfying day, where your previous two years' work can be cherished and appreciated.
Or, it could be terrible. It could be as bad as having that one kid you really don't like at the party.
Except, instead of one, everyone who attended the party is that "one kid."
This one kid has spoiled your day, and you'll never be able to forget it.
Even this simile can't express to the extent I require, how result's day will affect my life.
One road could lead to fantastic opportunities, journalism, long nights, amazing experiences.
The other could be a rocky road of regret, forever filled with doubt and hopelessness.
HOWEVER -
That's way too depressing, and unnecessarily negative.
This is a perfect demonstration of the mindset countless students will have on results day and not one person can imagine another's anxiety.
There's three days to go and counting...
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